Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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