I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
