Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize