I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
