It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize