There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
