Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Farmville is her only friend.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
