I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
