Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This is my gift to your gina
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
