ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I enjoy the company of your penis
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
