No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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