I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You took a bar mat shot.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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