I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
