I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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