You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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