Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
