Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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