I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
