Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
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I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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