none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I accidentally had phone sex last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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