i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
