Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
