Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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