yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
