you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
