I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't deserve a penis
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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