This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize