I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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