dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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