i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
