got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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