During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
