U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
