One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
