Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
