its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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