Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
