Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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