I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
