she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
