Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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