Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The struggles of a small town man whore
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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