just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
