he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Of course I have a pirate flag
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize