So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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