well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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