I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i think i have two assholes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
