Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
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