Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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