Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.