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• (951): View more from California

  There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."

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• (760): View more from California

  Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.

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• (323): View more from California

  All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.

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