wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks