i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees