Texts From Last Night

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  (409): View more from Texas

  so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister

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  (409): so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister http://tfl.nu/4kg0
  Replies (56) Good night (9087) Bad night (2452)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

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  (218): Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'? http://tfl.nu/wgpy
  Replies (15) Good night (1644) Bad night (4759)
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  (607): View more from New York

  do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?

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  (607): do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers? http://tfl.nu/jybn
  Replies (10) Good night (1877) Bad night (850)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Considering how often you blow him,high.

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  (260): He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds? (1-260): Considering how often you blow him,high. http://tfl.nu/epf2
  Replies (4) Good night (4884) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.

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  (970): She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim. http://tfl.nu/tftc
  Replies (4) Good night (877) Bad night (2392)
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  (661): View more from California

  Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room

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  (661): Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room http://tfl.nu/4z49
  Replies (9) Good night (2168) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.

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  (970): I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life. http://tfl.nu/eqcg
  Replies (21) Good night (1415) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose

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  (503): I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose http://tfl.nu/4w95
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Are we in any of the areas with tornados?

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.

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  (520): Are we in any of the areas with tornados? (931): Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/dq1c
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.

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  (352): I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father. http://tfl.nu/ymcy
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.

  (406): View more from Montana

  YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.

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  (570): HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS. (406): YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE. http://tfl.nu/futb
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia

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  (615): I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia http://tfl.nu/u6m4
  Replies (0) Good night (227) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.

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  (805): Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch. http://tfl.nu/6qlc
  Replies (6) Good night (643) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Omg that was my second thought of the morning.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  First was that we had pop tarts.

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  (802): Omg that was my second thought of the morning. (802): First was that we had pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/egcs
  Replies (0) Good night (395) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS

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  (306): he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS http://tfl.nu/n1yt
  Replies (5) Good night (430) Bad night (576)

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