and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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