i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
