masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need a beard to bite.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
