he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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