the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
