i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
