Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
