Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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