Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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