I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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